Lets all become Yoot fans now!!!

saw this on cougarboard. and couldnt resist!! hahaha


So you want to be a Ute fan? Congratulations.

Honestly, I can't say I blame you. Being a Utah fan is one of life's greatest pleasures, but before you get started, you're going to need to understand there's a simple playbook you need to follow. Some people are able to follow these instructions intuitively, but if you're not one of them this guide will clearly spell out the basics of being a part of Utah fandom.

Before you start, you need to understand that most of what you do as a Utah fan is reactionary. We'll learn about trolling and provoking BYU fans later. As a beginner all you'll need to do is watch what BYU fans do and react accordingly.

Here's what do when ...

1. BYU does something well:
We'll start with an easy one. There's one special hyphenated word that you can always throw around as a Utah fan: self-righteous. Don't worry about what it exactly means. If BYU fans are doing something, I can promise you, they're doing it in a self-righteous way and you shouldn't be shy about letting them know or yucking it up with your fellow fans.
Outside of being self-righteous, the only other acceptable explanation for why a BYU fan is doing something is that they are unable to think for themselves. Don't consider what their actual point or intent is or even if you might agree with it. If you can't classify BYU behavior as either being self-righteous or the behavior of a mindless drone, you're not trying hard enough to classify it.

2. BYU does something wrong:
Hey! It's your big chance! You know all those rules and standards those BYU people have? This is the time to throw them all back in their faces. Try to point out all the ways that theyve failed to live up to those standards; lay the guilt on heavy by pointing out how they've let everyone else down; use the word hypocrite liberally; blur the lines between trying to do something and promising to do something; ignore that you spend a lot of time and energy mocking them for caring at all about standards at all (see #1).
Luckily as a Utah fan, you don't need to worry about representing anything or anyone. You see, the real genius of being a Utah fan is you'll never have to worry about double standards, because we don't have any standards to begin with.

3. BYU does something wrong and youre an active, LDS Utah Fan:
Oh, man. This is the best! You will need to ignore that you probably have made a special effort to separate BYU from the church. When BYU does something good, it has nothing to do with the church--it's just BYU sports. But when when BYU or BYU fans do something wrong you need to take big-time offense. Those embarrassing actions are blight on your church and need to be stopped. Make a big deal about this, like writing on your tithing slip that your money should not to go BYU sports, or mentioning it Elders quorum. Make sure you say you think the church should drop BYU sports, but point out that it's only because you care about the church's image that you think so.
Finally, there are still no double standards, so as soon as the controversy blows over go back to coming up with insulting nick names or finding any other possible way to mock the people that only represent your church when they do something wrong. Also, you dont need to worry about your actions ever reflecting in any way on the church. Everyone knows that throughout the rest of the country no one ever associates the Utah community with Mormons.

4. A BYU fan accuses you or other Utah fans of doing something wrong:
Two easy options for this one--deny or excuse. Is there unequivocal proof of what those lily-white BYU fans are accusing you or or friends of? Well, then they're probably making it up, or just lying about it. Start with that, but if by some chance it turns out they can prove that they're not making up the accusation up, the odds are theres probably something you can kind of compare it to that a BYU fan has done.
Example: Let's say a BYU fan is complaining that their head got cut open by a beer can thrown into their section at RES. First, you deny that it happened. Say something like, "that didn't happen, or you shouldnt exaggerate. If they happen to be able to show you the scar or a photo or something you might need to stop denying and start excusing. This is done by saying something like, "Oh yeah. Well, my sister got pushed at LES." Voila. Problem solved.
You will need to avoid discussing even the possibility that there might be a shred of guilt among Utah fans. Just keep beating that you-do-it-too drum until that BYU fan accepts that since everyone has done something wrong, no one can ever tell anyone else they what theyve done is wrong (without being self-righteous, of course).

5. BYU loses:
Ha ha! Just like you said they would. After a BYU loss, their fans will probably eating their own a little. This is a great time for beginner trolling. Remind them how fast Utah is or how awesome they are in big games. Just keep up with the Salt Lake media and use whatever line they are pushing at the time. Be merciless and personal in your mocking. Remember there's a time when it's more important that they lost than you won; that time is always. Look to feed every doubt they may have about their team and create a few they dont have yet. Work as hard as you can to get BYU fans to define their team the way you see them. The more you can get them to start thinking like you, the more they will do your trolling for you.

6. BYU wins
Looks like it wasn't your day, but here's the deal: they probably cheated, or the refs cheated, or they got lucky. If you get tired of arguing that they're cheating cheaters who cheat all the time, maybe you can find something they said after that game that you can take offense at or whine about. Your offense will make a great distraction from the unfortunate outcome, maybe even a bigger story than the outcome. Ignore any metal gymnastics you may have to do to take offense at the statement. The important thing is manufacture enough outrage over the statement or action that fellow Utah fans can hold onto it as long as necessary. With enough whining, the distraction will tide us over until Utah manages to win another game. Once that happens we can all go back to the advice in #5, and along with the Salt Lake media can keep telling BYU fans how the honor code or whatever other excuse we can find is going to prevent them from ever winning anything. Ever.


Well, that should be enough to get you started. Best of luck and we'll get into the really complicated stuff later, like why we dress like pirates or what exactly the source of our foaming-at-the-mouth hatred is.

Hot Diggity!!!

Happiness!!! Dictionary.com says this about "happiness"

"Synonyms:1, 2. pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight, enjoyment, satisfaction. Happiness, bliss, contentment, felicity "

I would like to add some more meanings of what happiness is to me.

1-Happiness is getting that "holy crap she's hot" feeling everytime you see that "someone"

2-Happiness is laughing so hard everyday that your abs are getting a work out...everyday!

3-Happiness is smiling so much that your jaw hurts at the end of the day.
4-Happiness is being with someone and not doing anything, but loving every minute of it.

5-Happiness is being able to play basketball, volleyball, tennis and golf with the one you love.

6-Happiness is being able to hike a Mountain with someone you like, and never once get frustrated with them...well unitl she steals your phone and you think you left it at the top! haha :-)

7-Happiness is being with someone who makes you feel loved without her even being next to you.

8-Happiness is loving everything about her!

9-Happiness is knowing that she's not a Yewt Fan!!!

10-Happiness, Complete Happiness is being with Erin anytime, anywhere, doing anything!!!!!

EBT brings soooo much happiness into mylife!!! thanks babers!

Im in a New York State of Mind!!!

Congrats to the 2009 World Series Champions, Your New York Yankees!!!!!

Congrats to

Jo,

Jete

Al

Godzilla

AP

Mariano

and

hip

hip

Jorge Posada!!!

thanks for a great year!!!

Repeat in 2010!!!

Fire Bronco!!!

enough said!

Greatest Decision Ever Made

After attending Priesthood Session at the Conference Center Earlier I was thinking, "man, all ive blogged about is stuff thats really not that important", ie. BYU, man they frustrate me! ok I gotta stay on track here, back to Conference. So I thought I should write about something that had brought me more sleepless nights, more heartache, more crazy, crazy experiences, and more joy than anything i had experienced up to that point, My Mission! I feel im lucky to say that my Mission was honestly the greatest 2 plus years of my life. Hahaha you might see the 2 plus and wonder about that. well thats another entry for another day.

Elder Britten David Goldhardt, you have been hereby called to serve in the New Jersey Morristown Mission! Every Latter day Saint young man anxiously waits for the day when they can read were Our Father in Heaven Needs them to seve for 24 months. So many thoughts ran through my head when i was told over the phone i was being reassinged.. (again, another entry for another day) First thought was, what the heck is in New Jersey?, all i could think of was New York, and it was somewhere on the east coast. Being the Historian that i claim to be, i started to look up all the historical facts on New Jersey, and of course most, are associated with the Revolutionary War, as I read and read I became more and more facinated with the Garden State. I had pictured in my mind old open Battle Fields, and lots and lots of trees. hahahaha boy was in for a rude awakening. I arrived in New Jersey june 24th 2002, I was met in the Newark airport by the AP's and drove to the mission home to meet the mission pres. I wont state his name, only because he was a jerk. haha and i only had him as Mission Pres for 2 weeks. President Norman then came in and resurrected the great New Jersey Morristown Mission of Excellence.

In every area i learned something new, I gained a new attribute, and strengthened my Testimony. My Mission was the hardest Time of my life!!! I had many experiences that i will never tell my parents, that scared the hell outta me, Experiences that made me think am i ready to go? Experiences that created a great love for the people of Jersey. I think its funny that when i think of my Mission, I can only remember the great times! and i only remember the hard parts when i read my journal. On my Mission i learned to think of others First, something i had very rarely done prior to the Mish, and now im told to stop thinking of others first and focus on myself, i have struggled with that alot!!! I met the greatest People in the world , in the state of Hardknocks, I met the Rene Family in Rockland, Tevon and Danielle in Jersey City, Michelle in Jersey City as well.

In Passaic there was the Great Wither Family! whom I love and look up to sooooo Much!!! They are great Examples to me in living the Gospel! Victor, Jackie, and there two sons (at the time) Jonathon and Kevin were the best! They fed us and were my family out there! they took care of me! i dont know how I'll ever be able to repay them for all that they did. haha vico.. "its the weekend!!!!" haha crazy video making! :-) In Elizabeth there were Kimberly Hughs, and Kitchner Toussaint.. Although there were many others, these specifically made a deep impact on my life and im in debted to them forever! As my brother Eric serves the people in Spain im often reminded of experiences on my mish and it brings back so many good memories..hahaha bashing with the J dubs, having them admit to us that our church was the true church, but they're not ready to join yet. having preachers break down, when giving the first vision, seeing how hard the adversary works when teaching the first vision.

Seeing all the CRAZY people!! i swear there's some interesting people their!. haha. oh man. So with all this, why was my mission the best 2 years of my life? Because , i came to "know" God our Father, His tender mercies upon his children. His deep love for all his children, His Son Jesus Christ, the power of his Atonement, and the many blessings and opportunities it gives all of us! I came to know the Book of Mormon, wow its crazy how history repeats its self!!!! i gained a greater respect for the Prophet Joseph Smith and a Sure Knowledge that this is Gods Church, and he is at the head of it! its been said that from knowledge comes truth, i would like to add that with the knowledge i gained, came Joy and an extreme Happiness! How Lucky I was To Serve a Mission in New Jersey, I love that state! i love the people! I love the Gospel I was able to share with them. and I loved seeing the Spirit Touch these people while sharing the the great message we had been sent their to share. What a Hard, Gut renching, Heartaching work it was. But what a great, rewarding and joyful Experience! There truly is Joy in the Journey.

peace out peeps!

Thoughts......

1-Erin finishes her first Marathon under 5 hours!!! way to go Babers!
2-Eric is Kickin Trash in the Mission!!!
3-BYU is over rated,
4-Max Hall is over rated, (he now has more intereceptions than touchdowns)
5-change of seasons suck!! i hate getting sick!!
6-Basketball team is 2-0, but we still have a ways to go till were good.
7-SNL opens with a live F bomb, WTH is going on in this world?!?
8-Obama......oh no he cant!
9-My Iron play was exceptionaly great yesterday!!! (best golf round of the year!)
10-My life is great! Erin is Great, my Family is Great!

What a WASTE!!!

Wow! i dont know where to begin, Im still ticked off about BYU's performance last Saturday vs FSU. The Defense looked lifeless, the offense looked like it was just trying to get the game to end and Bronco looked like the same ol Bronco we've come to know..that of a lifeless being on the sideline. Getting trounced by 26 pts on your home field is embarressing! Fans are getting a little up tight, how is it that BYU can beat Oklahoma, and then play like complete crap against a non ranked FSU squad? But is this what we will have to expect from Bronco or anyone else for that matter???... Can BYU make the jump to the next level? or are they content on winning conference Championships and going to vegas. Well Bronco, your the only one who must be content. We dont want to go to vegas!!, and we are Sick and Tired of losing to utah!!!! You are the Coach, prepare them as if EVERY game is a BIG game. if the Church does not accept mediocrity from its Missionaries, it should not accept it from the fooball program. By the way if i failed to mention this earlier i apoplogize.. this post is 98% rant on the crappyness that was BYU Football.

Even though the Football game turned out to be a bust the day itself wasnt. Erin ran the Top of Utah Marathon, and finished in less than 5 hours!! incredible i know!!! im really proud of her, and the dedication she showed while training. Good job babers!!! Earlier sat i was able to go to grandpa goldhardts and do the annual week yard work, I love going over there and helping them out and visiting with them!!! I was able to take my dad to the game (his first one in more than 6 years!!!) hhahaa, i hope he enjoyed it, even though it sucked....big time!!!! being there with him at the game made me miss Eric even more! it doesnt seem complete unless the 3 amigo's are together doing something! i look forward to his return in March!!!! well i guess i will end there, atleast its on a happy note, im not so pissed off at byu anymore...crap, now that i write that i just got really bugged again! hahaha. also Vico, if you read this Holla!!! istill need to reply to your email! that made my day last week!! here is a Pic of Erin and myself as you requested! looks like our slow white guys are back for BYU but always!! just always remember...............................

peace out

peeps!

BYU vs Oklahoma

This was billed as the biggest game since 1990 when The Miami Hurricanes made a visit to Provo to take on BYU and their Junior Quarterback Ty Detmer. That game ended in a shocking BYU win over the previously#1 ranked Hurricanes and also springboarded Ty to win the Heisman Trophy.

Fast forward to Sept 5th 2009, BYU traveled to the Football palace known as "The house that Jerry built" "Jerry's House" etc.. BYU would be taking on the storied program of Oklahoma University. Oklahoma entered the game ranked 3rd in the country. They would leave being beat 14-13, they would leave with last years Heisman trophy winner Sam Bradford in a sling having been crushed by Coleby Clawson. They would leave shocked as we all were that not only did BYU hang with them, They put together the winning drive and the Defense played lights out!!!

Erin, myslef and her family went up to their Cabin at Bear Lake, We searched everywhere up there to find a place to watch the game but to no avail, we ended up listening to Greg Wrubel call the game. At times the Radio would dim out, hahaha it was a great time though, everyone was listening to the game, it was so intense in the final 5 min of the game and it was fun for me to imagine what was taking place.

BYU has positioned itself to make a legitimate run to the National Title game, which is ironic considering this year is the 25 year aniversary of the 1984 Team winning it all! as of 9/14/09 BYU is ranked 7th, with a home game looming this Saturday against Florida State.

Speaking earlier of Erin, what a great, amazing, wonderful, awesome, funny, unlivewithoutable, hot, incredible person she is!! im so lucky! and what a great family she has!!! oh and things are good!! i mean theoretically speaking...real good! :-)

The Crappy yewts

RED TEAMS SUCKS!!!

With College Football Season upon us, I would like to remind everyone of my hatred for Little Brother, utah utes. Some say that your a fan of your fathers team....while some of this may be true i have ALWAYS hated that school!!!!! the first time i saw them play wasnt against BYU either, i hated how cocky the players were and how freakin stupid there fans were!!! my first encounter with Utah fans came back before i went on my mission, we went to the game in provo and sat in the north endzone, after hearing the F bomb fly left and right..which at the time i couldve care less about., but it all went south when 3 utah fans spit in my face after a BYU win.. Very Classy retards!!!


Utah fans come out when they win,....well even then kinda... you think after the o4 bcs team, they wouldve sold out every home game the year after and from then on, i mean there stadium is alot smaller than the Y's.. good grief.. haha but no they cant even do that. although i did here they sell out tomorrow's game against Utah state junior aggies...good job utes.. now do this on a continous baises for about 28 years. and you might...just might have the tradition that BYU has and that you little brother have always longed for!

This year the that "other team" is ranked 18th in the preseason polls. which is only due to there win in the sugar bowl.. and rightfully so.. but in no way will they keep that!! for starters they have two new qb's who are a jc transfer and a true freshman.....cant wait to rattle the hell outta them! on defense, they lose kruger and a cb to the nfl. misi is out with a injury.. mark it here!! there defense will be exposed this year, and i think Gary Anderson's aggies will prove that!. i think they'll be lucky to win 7 games this year. with loses to oregon, tcu, BYU..









Utes are classless, redneck, pigs! who are the biggest bandwagon jumpers in the country! Good Riddence to you this year! welcome back to mediocrity.. you can have your two bcs wins. we'll gladly take all our conference championships, our Outland Trophy Winners (2), our Doalk Walker Award Winner, Coach of the year, Davey O'Brien Awards (4) **more than any other school**Sammy Baugh Trophy College Passer of the Year (7) Heisman Trophy Winner. and most of all the National Championship! All these amount to tradition and Honor, All of these amount to BYU FOOTBALL!! GO COUGARS!!!!!

Why I hate the Lakers!!!

Call me Ebenezer Scrooge, but i refuse to give any credit to the Los Angeles Lakers, Im still trying to figure out where my hatred that is second only to the Yewts, comes from.. So in trying to understand all of this, i have attempted a "TOP TEN REASONS, I HATE THE LAKERS"








10-Jack Nicholson, Now i know he's not a player, but i cant stand when you want to watch the freakin game and there showin Jack and all his buddies who are watching an indoor game with flippen sunglasses.. Seriously!!!! what the heck! get a life! and get off your freakin high horse and realize your no better than the person sitting on the very top row of the Staples Center.

9-Phil Jackson, This one just might cause a little controversy. Either Phil is the greatest Coach in the world. Or he's a product of what happens when he has one of the greatest basketball players of our time.... lets see, he's coached..Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen,Shaq and kobe and now Kobe, Pau the spanish cave man, lamar Odom. What would happen if he had Dwill, Booz, or memo? Or if he was Coaching the LA Clippers.?

8-Laker Fans, Now i understand that not all LakerFans are band wagen jumbers, i mean.....for instance Frank at work is a true laker fan, one i give crap to everytime i can, and he gives it right back for the jazz.haha. but for every Frank, there's like a hundred idiots that think oh...the lakers are doing good again, i better go get some laker gear and act like im their #1 fan.. lame wads!









7-Just the Fact their in LA makes me hate them, and yes i even hate the dodgers! oh even the college teams are lame! USC...hmmm. if im a high school senior and i need alittle money, go play at USC, Pete Carroll Seems to pay a good amount to players..haha. and UCLA...ya, way to go Ben Olson! that was a great move for ya.

6-Lakers Payroll $78.9 Million Jazz Payroll $65.6 Million, Good Heck, with a payroll of nearly 79 million, i hope your always playing for a championship.

5- Sasha is a flippen retard! you touch him and he acts like you just commited an assault!

4- Way to go DFISH!! i still think he didnt leave Utah for the reasons he stated. and for that your my #4 of why i hate the lakers!
3- Gasol, after noticing the Geico banner in the Staples Center.

2- hmmm odom,dfish,bryant, sasha, and cave man.. I dont think you could assemble a more pompous group of idiots!
1- Kobe Bryant is the number 1 reason of why i hate the lakers!, I actually liked Kobe when he first came into the league, but its amazing what a little bit a fame will do to a person and their ego. Kobe, you'll never be the player Michael Jordan was. and you'll never be the player Labron will become!
peace out!